Cleansing by Fire

18 Nov

It’s snowing right now.  

The first snow of the year.  

A lot of people detest the arrival of winter precipitation but there is something innately beautiful about a fresh and pure blanket covering up the dirty streets and sidewalks.  

That first snow covers a multitude of sins.

Having said that, snow doesn’t have permanence.  It will eventually melt and everything underneath will once again be on display.

Fire though.  

Fire is permanent.

I was watching the snow cover the streets and thought it might be an appropriate time to share my experience with the permanence of fire.

A cleansing of fire, with fire, and through fire.

When I realized, without a doubt, that my marriage was over, my immediate reaction was, “I need to drop this last name.  I’m not that person anymore.  That part of my life is over.  I need a new name and I need do something drastic to commemorate my new identity: my reinvention, if you will.”

I thought, I’m going to burn something; I’m going to destroy something!  Natural conclusion to this line of thinking: I’m going to burn my wedding dress!

In all honesty, many people weren’t thrilled with this idea.  It was thought to be too extreme and in poor taste.  The puzzled reactions furthered my resolve to do something loud and destructive.

I approached my friend Scott, of Scott Hobbs Photography, with my vision and we set to work.  We recruited our makeup artist friend Scotia, of Sweet Cherry Spa.  We drove into the bush one Saturday afternoon and didn’t come out until things were done properly.

Makeup and hair by Scotia


Photography by Scott


Behind the scenes:


The Journey:


Oh, and we had guns.  

Because, why not?

Mission accomplished.

I am Kali, the dark one: the goddess of destruction.  I come in vengeance and fire; I destroy.  I am carnage embodied.

I am Kali, the beautiful one: the goddess of renewal and rebirth.  From the ashes of my mayhem comes something new and wonderful.

Thank you Scott and Scotia for helping me on this step of my healing and transitioning.

I was broken.  

I’m whole again.

So much love and light to you, my dear friends.

13 Responses to “Cleansing by Fire”

  1. Chrissie November 19, 2016 at 10:19 am #

    You constantly amaze me with you strength, courage and complete and total badass-ness!!
    (it is a word in my world lol) You are a remarkable woman, an amazing role model for your kids (and your friends and blog readers) and I look forward to seeing what your new beginning and new life have in store for you. xo

    • L.W. November 19, 2016 at 10:24 am #

      Thanks Chrissie, as always, you’re full of kind and encouraging words!

  2. Phyllis November 19, 2016 at 7:47 am #

    Great idea, when I retired from nursing I had a fire and burned my nursing uniforms. I was done and felt the need to cleanse myself of the past as well. A few other nursing friends have done the same thing.

    • L.W. November 19, 2016 at 7:47 am #

      Oooooh, i like that!!

  3. Shannon November 18, 2016 at 4:33 pm #

    This is perfect! So bad ass and bold!

    • L.W. November 18, 2016 at 4:34 pm #

      Thank you!!

  4. Tom November 18, 2016 at 4:21 pm #

    I love this ritual… for a real fresh start. Also holy shit is that real Ar15!!!! This is a brilliant move to move forward and give yourself closure. Nicely written

    • L.W. November 18, 2016 at 4:23 pm #

      Thank you Tom! Very therapeutic. Yes, it’s a real rifle 😊

      • Scott November 18, 2016 at 7:51 pm #

        It’s a non restricted rifle but it’s very much the real deal. 🙂


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