We shouldn’t, but we are anyway

2 Dec

Trigger Warning: This post contains complaints about pregnancy. If this is something you do not wish to read (because you struggle with infertility or have suffered loss) please avoid. Any post that discusses the negative aspects of pregnancy will have this warning.

I’ve been told that it’s irresponsible to have a third child.

Don’t we know that the world is already over populated?

Are we not aware that the world is basically imploding before our very eyes?

I’m aware of both! And what’s more, I’ll add a bunch more reasons why the Eating Dirt family should NOT be bringing another child into the world.

1. Money: We have none. We live paycheck to paycheck and my mom helps us out a lot. We have no savings and a decent sized debt. Babies are pretty much free but they grow into kids and teenagers with needs and wants and stomachs that need filling.

2. Health: I’m always exhausted and usually incapacitated one week out of every month with a crippling sinus headache/migraine. Not to mention the horror-show that is pregnancy (hyperemesis, heartburn, pre-eclampsia, antenatal depression). Jason is older than I am and lives with constant pain, whether it be from repetitive stress injury, exhaustion, or his newly diagnosed fallen arches and arthritis.

3. Time: I personally feel like I don’t have enough time to spend on two kids, let alone three. Jason works incredibly long hours and is on call 24/7/365. He has no time to do anything fun for himself or any projects around the house. The last thing we need is another little person taking up time we don’t have.

4. Room: We have an average sized house and all three kids will have their own bedroom. Unfortunately, for the last born, the bedroom will be a corner of the basement sectioned off with curtains. We have no room in our vehicle. It is a tiny car that barely fits five (I can force myself between the two boosters in the back if I have to).

5. Out of the work force for longer: If I couldn’t afford child care for two, I certainly can’t afford child care for three. We’ve talked about it and yes, I will continue to be an at-home parent. That comes with it’s own set of judgements.

6. Continued lack of social life: The kids were getting older and it was getting easier for one parent to handle bedtime. Both boys routinely have sleepovers with Gramma now and it has given Jason and I a bit more freedom and a chance to get out and do things. It’s back to being stuck at home all the time or being too tired to leave the house if I do have an “off duty” night.

7. Starting over: We are done with diapers and bottles and both boys (though they get up stupidly early) usually sleep through the night. It’ll be back to the beginning in June.

Please note, none of these reasons are me looking for sympathy or crying about my horrible life.

I tell the truth and this is the truth.

It’s not really a good idea to have another child. It’s very obvious to us both so please, you don’t need to point it out to us.

Having said that, the vast majority of people have had positive reactions to our news. It’s because they know what we know:

It’s worth it.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who regret having a child or multiple children, but I don’t know anybody who’s admitted it to me. Instead, I’ve heard again and again how the last little child (whether purposefully created or accidentally) completed their family in a beautiful way!

So we are doing it anyway. We may not have room in our car, but we have room in our hearts, that’s for sure. This little 11 week old fetus is already loved and wanted.

We can’t wait to meet him. Or her.

4 Responses to “We shouldn’t, but we are anyway”

  1. annie December 3, 2014 at 10:23 pm #

    It is worth it! With all the griping we do about parenting, it sure makes it sound like a drag. Yet it is so very worth it. I think it is more difficult (at least for me) to put into words the amazing side of parenting.
    Congratulations again, very excited for your boys to both be big brothers!

  2. Lisa December 3, 2014 at 2:49 pm #

    Love your honesty, Leah. Now, do an entry on all the wonderful reasons why you SHOULD have a third child! You guys have plenty to celebrate. The money issue will always be there, the struggles will be there. But you guys are great parents, you are very conscientious parents who care that their children are raised to be good, kind, thoughtful, contributing members of society. The world needs more parents like you, and in turn needs people like you to have children that will positively impact our world. 🙂

  3. Amy December 2, 2014 at 11:28 am #

    I love your honesty Leah! Who knows what this little being will do or become in our world. Everything happens for a reason and I can’t wait to see what God’s purpose is for him or her!!! ( I am hoping for a her!!!). Just imagine how cute she would be:)

    • L.W. December 2, 2014 at 12:44 pm #

      Thanks so much Amy! Everyone is hoping for a girl.

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