Trying to keep the peace and maintain my sanity

7 Jan

This post is basically just a whole bunch of questions…

During our play-date yesterday, my friend Lindsay and I were discussing how we (as young children) seemed to listen to our mothers much better than our own children listen to us.

I seem to spend all day every day (when both boys are home) telling the boys not to hit each other or hurt each other somehow. I send RJ out of the room (to calm down and sit by himself) at least three times a day and now that JP’s older, he is also getting in on the time-out action. Over the last three weeks, he has had to leave the room and sit on a kitchen chair at least once a day. Lindsay said the same thing: she puts her boys in time-outs several times a day.

So, Lindsay and I are going through a similar experience of being stay-at-home-moms to two boys roughly the same age and we’re both using time-outs as punishments.

We both agreed that we are handling things in a similar way that our own mothers did: a time out for Lindsay was spent in her bedroom, I had to sit on the kitchen chair until I was calmed down. The difference is that we both only remember receiving a time-out punishment a few times a month, as opposed to a few times a day.

Why is that?

As I said, I feel like I do things the same way as my mother did so what’s the big deal? Even though I feel overwhelmed a lot, I still feel like I’m doing a good job; I consider myself to be a good mother.

Why do my children not listen to me but I listening to my own mother?

Is it because my mother was more threatening?

Or did I have a lot of toddler/preschool tantrums/time-outs but I just don’t remember?

Are my kids more difficult to handle than I was as a child?

Is it because I have two boys as opposed to one boy and boy girl (as my mother did. And Lindsay’s mother too actually)?

Both my boys are full of energy, but they can also be ridiculously grumpy if they don’t get enough sleep. They never seem to have enough sleep because they continually get up before the sun rises. They love to play with each other but they can’t maintain peace for longer than (on average) 5 minutes.

I have to step in, separate, give time-outs, have some heart-to-hearts, apologies all around, and then back to play.

In a few minutes, they’re both back to crying and I step in again. Repeat all day everyday.

How much fighting and screaming is normal and why can’t I maintain control?

Or is control just an illusion that I’ve tricked myself into believing is possible?

I don’t even know what that previous sentence means!

Anybody have any suggestions as to how I can keep the peace?

Nanny 911.

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