Local Treasures

23 Jul

I just got back from my favourite summer art sale, the Die Active Y-art sale, with a few more treasures for my never ending collection of local art!  If you see this post before 4pm, head over to the Hoito before the artists pack up for another year.  

This weekend also happens to be Busker Fest!  Local radio stations, more artists, store sidewalk sales, food vendors, music and entertainment, and kid activities!  Todd S did an amazing job organizing this amazing event.  It’s on until 5 today and again tomorrow.  Plenty of time to check it out!

Speaking of checking things out, please feast your eyes on my newly acquired pieces!

driftwood designs by Kayleigh

by boy Roland

by Janna Z

by Ashley Moreau

by Kyle Lees

capris leggings and amber bracelet from Tara of HC Creations

skirt from Tara of HC Creations

golden snitch earrings by Nancy Freeborn

octopus necklace by Nancy Freeborn

The most exciting thing here is that some of these treasures will be included in my upcoming Happy Birthday To Me blog giveaway!  

Not all of them though because I’m quite selfish.  

Check back July 28th to see what I’ll be giving away to one lucky reader!

Funny things that happen when your marriage craps out

13 Jul

Let’s take a break from the more serious tone of the last few posts and delve into something a little more lighthearted!

I’ve been noticing some funny happenings over the past month since separating from my husband.

1. As I’ve mentioned, people are deleting me from various social media outlets and unfollowing the blog.  I guess they’re picking sides even though there’s no reason to. That’s funny in a weird way, not so much with the ha ha.

2. Someone told me I’m just looking for attention by posting all this stuff about my breakup.  Of course I’m looking for attention!  That should be pretty obvious.  I made no secret of the fact that I wanted words of encouragement and inspiration.  I also asked people to say nice things about me.  And you know what?  All that “attention” was incredibly helpful and appreciated.  Nobody should be afraid to ask for help.

3. Two people have contacted me to let me know that they can’t be friends with me anymore because I didn’t take my marriage vows seriously enough and gave up.  And, as a divorced woman, I’m a threat because I will tempt their husbands.  Seriously!  SERIOUSLY?!?!!  This is so ridiculously ludicrous that I have no words.  That rarely happens.  I responded to them with two simple words that likely demonstrated my disgust.

4. More in the ha-ha department… A construction worker whistled at me today!  That’s never happened to me before!  I’m not saying I want it to keep happening, but it was very funny and unexpected!  I always thought if that ever happened, I’d have a witty response ready. But no, I think I just looked confused and then cautiously continued walking to retrieve my son from his day-camp.

5. And also unexpected, people have asked me out on dates!  Whaaaat?  The last time I was asked out on a date, I was still a teenager.  I forgot that was a thing that people did!  It was very surprising, however not unwelcome in the least.  Having said that, please don’t ask for the pleasure of my company if you’re a misogynistic racist douchebag because… well….I’m just not into that!

Going Public

13 Jul

I want to talk a little bit about my decision to post publicly about the end of my marriage.

A few days after Jason officially declared our marriage to be over, I put up a post on my Facebook wall letting people know what was happening.  I did that because Jason is active in local media, we know a lot of people, and we had over 130 mutual friends.  Little bits of rumour were already starting to spread around; rather than let the rumours fester and multiply, I wanted the truth to be known as soon as possible.  What better place than Facebook?  

With many of our mutual friends and family in one place, I thought I’d write something thoughtful and truthful.  I knew it would be shocking for a lot of people, but I also expected my friends and family to be understanding and forgiving because obviously their own shock would be negligible compared to what I was feeling.

However, several people were upset with my decision to be so public and forthcoming.  Those people thought they should have been told about the divorce before it was blasted all over Facebook.  To that I say, why?  Those people have since deleted me and that’s fine.  If they need me to be the bad guy, then I can be the bad guy.  

As an interesting side note, nobody was offended or angered when I revealed my pregnancies via Facebook.  You know, without making a bunch of personal announcements first. That’s a pretty big life event too.  Is there a rule that states bad news has to be declared privately and in a certain timeline?

Regardless, I shouldn’t have to justify my own decisions about what, who, and when to tell.  I didn’t say anything nasty about Jason and I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.  I didn’t say anything that I wouldn’t have said in a direct conversation.  

Which is another reason for my big social media reveal: I can’t imagine telling hundreds of people over and over again that my marriage is over.  This way, almost every person in my life became aware of my transition at the same time, therefore eliminating hundreds of uncomfortable conversations.  It’s out there and everybody knows and I’m glad.  If I could go back in time, to before I wrote my divorce announcement, I’d do it again the exact same way.  

If what I choose to share causes you grief and anger, then it’s probably best if you stop checking in with Eating Dirt, because that’s what I do: I share things, both good and bad.  

If you know me and have followed this blog for awhile, I think it’s obvious that I’m an open book.  I love writing and I love telling stories.  Since the beginning, I’ve received emails from readers thanking me for being candid and truthful; thanking me for being real.  

Readers have told me they love reading about things that are so resonating and relatable.  

Readers have told me that I’ve made them laugh and cry.  

This may only be cyber-space, but the connection and community to actual people is very real. 

Much love to you, dear readers: fellow travellers on the road of life, love, sorrow, passion, and heartbreak. 

And let’s not forget laughter.

Never forget laughter.

Future Real Estate Mogul

10 Jul

The most important person in my life last weekend was this lady, right here:
This is Sarah Kerton and she sold my house!

Look at that radiant smile!  This is how happy she looks every time she sells a house.  And she can sell yours too!  Or she can help you find a house!  She is well worth the investment if you want your house sold quickly and with minimal stress!

Sarah doesn’t always look so formal and put together.  Sometimes she pops by your house for an impromptu photo shoot (R1 was the photographer) to celebrate the sale.  If I had champagne, we could have done a toast.  Right there on the front lawn!

And if you’re really lucky, you might even catch Sarah’s “sign guy” (also known as her husband Chris)!  He sneaks over to put up the For Sale signs, then later sneaks over again to replace it with a SOLD sign.  I did catch him though…

You can contact Sarah through her Facebook page or call the Apex Realty office and ask now to get hold of her!

The review I left on her page:

Thank you so much Sarah!  I wish you continued success in your real estate career!


8 Jul

On June 28th, we put the house up for sale.  

There was one showing on July 1st and another on July 2nd.  

On July 3rd, we accepted an offer and on July 4th a home inspector came.  On July 5th, we agreed to a lower price (because let’s face it, this place needs work), and on July 6th, we signed all the papers which officially sealed the deal!

We sold the house; it’s done done done!  

We’ve been slowly taking boxes and furniture over to my new place since July 1st and July 16th will be our actual moving day!

The new place is a disaster with half unpacked boxes all over the place, but it’s starting to take shape.  I’ve gotten rid of so much stuff over the past month and I can see that I’ll need to get rid of even more.

Moving from one house to another is an amazing opportunity to purge unnecessary baggage from your life, both literally and figuratively.

When we bought this place six years ago, I thought it was going to be our forever home.  It was exciting at first, but it slowly became a burden.  We couldn’t afford to do renovations and repairs and as our family grew, the walls started closing in on us.  

I kept telling myself I was happy because of the great neighbourhood and the fabulous fenced in yard.  But after awhile, even the good things couldn’t compete with the bad.  

For Jason, I think, the unsaid burden of owning this house mirrored the burden of being unhappy in marriage.  In both cases, it’s difficult to say when the bad began to outweigh the good.  I was preoccupied with trying to keep the home livable amidst the chaos of three young children.  I was exhausted yet content and I failed to see that Jason was unhappy.  I believed the kids would get older, we’d alleviate stress, and continue living and loving even better than before. 

But it was too late.  

Now the house is sold and the marriage is over.  I couldn’t save either.

Next week, I’ll be unpacking boxes in my new home.  Soon, I’ll think back on our time in this current house with fondness, despite knowing it had problems and wasn’t meant to be our forever home.  

And one day, in time, I’ll look back on my relationship with Jason as a wonderful and necessary stepping stone in my journey.  I’ll always treasure the amazing memories we made and I’ll always love him as the father of my babies.  The very first time I put my arms around him, I felt like I was home.  He will always be in my life because of our kids, but maybe….

Maybe, like this house, he was never meant to be my forever home.

Saying Goodbye To Old Dreams

27 Jun

When I got married ten years ago, I truly wanted to spend my life with Jason.  

During the years we’ve been married, I always had dreams for the future.  I had things I wanted to accomplish by myself, but my dreams always included Jason by my side.  I always assumed he felt the same way and I’d like to think that he too believed we’d always be together.  

At some point in the last year, Jason’s dreams for the future stopped including me.  And now that he’s pulled the plug on our marriage, I need to say goodbye to many of my old hopes and dreams and welcome in the new.

For instance, Jason and I never really had a honeymoon.  I hoped one day we’d be able to afford to go on a special trip and we could call it a really belated honeymoon.  After we decided to sell our house, I decided that we would use a bit of the profit to take a trip to BC. We’ve both never been and that’s where we originally wanted to ten years ago.

That dream is over but I’ve decided that I still want to go to BC and next summer I’m going.  

Out with the old dream, in with the new.

Maybe Jason did me a favour by ending our marriage.  I would never have ended it; I would have kept trying.  We were going to take steps to alleviate stress; the wheels were in motion.  I believed we were great together and if we could lessen the stress and make changes, things could be great again.  If we could ride the storms of stress and young children and financial strain together, we could come out the other side even stronger than before.  

But he pulled the plug and killed my dreams.  However, maybe he gave me the gift of new dreams. Maybe what’s coming has the potential to make me happier than I ever thought possible.  

I can sleep easily at night knowing that I tried my hardest and I never gave up.  I can tell my children with honesty and conviction that I fought my hardest to keep our family together.  I have a clean conscience.  

A year from now, I hope I can look around and feel thankful to Jason for gifting me with a clean slate: something I never wanted but embraced anyway.

End of an Era

24 Jun

I seemed to have jumped the gun a little bit by posting that beautiful anniversary post last week.  I’ve since taken it down.

The morning after our lovely anniversary date, we went to Pride as a family: 

Later that day, after the kids had gone to Gramma’s house, the marriage was over.

I was devastated and hurt more than I ever thought possible.

By Monday I was angry, more angry than I’ve ever been.

But a couple days later I woke up feeling calm and peaceful and even happy.  I have no idea what’s going to happen next week, next month, or next year, but I’m excited.

I can sleep well at night knowing that I was ready and willing to give it my all; I had no intention of ever giving up and I was committed for life.  But I can’t be in a marriage by myself.  

I also refuse to be bitter and regretful and angry.  My children are my top priority and Jason and I will work together to ensure they are loved and all their needs are met.  

Even though I probably won’t ever understand why Jason didn’t want to keep trying, I know he is a wonderful and committed father.  I’ve never doubted his love for those kids and I trust him completely to be there for them and care for them.

I’m sure I’ll write more about this topic in the future.  For now, it’s onward and forward.


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