I want to talk a little bit about my decision to post publicly about the end of my marriage.
A few days after Jason officially declared our marriage to be over, I put up a post on my Facebook wall letting people know what was happening. I did that because Jason is active in local media, we know a lot of people, and we had over 130 mutual friends. Little bits of rumour were already starting to spread around; rather than let the rumours fester and multiply, I wanted the truth to be known as soon as possible. What better place than Facebook?
With many of our mutual friends and family in one place, I thought I’d write something thoughtful and truthful. I knew it would be shocking for a lot of people, but I also expected my friends and family to be understanding and forgiving because obviously their own shock would be negligible compared to what I was feeling.
However, several people were upset with my decision to be so public and forthcoming. Those people thought they should have been told about the divorce before it was blasted all over Facebook. To that I say, why? Those people have since deleted me and that’s fine. If they need me to be the bad guy, then I can be the bad guy.
As an interesting side note, nobody was offended or angered when I revealed my pregnancies via Facebook. You know, without making a bunch of personal announcements first. That’s a pretty big life event too. Is there a rule that states bad news has to be declared privately and in a certain timeline?
Regardless, I shouldn’t have to justify my own decisions about what, who, and when to tell. I didn’t say anything nasty about Jason and I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I didn’t say anything that I wouldn’t have said in a direct conversation.
Which is another reason for my big social media reveal: I can’t imagine telling hundreds of people over and over again that my marriage is over. This way, almost every person in my life became aware of my transition at the same time, therefore eliminating hundreds of uncomfortable conversations. It’s out there and everybody knows and I’m glad. If I could go back in time, to before I wrote my divorce announcement, I’d do it again the exact same way.
If what I choose to share causes you grief and anger, then it’s probably best if you stop checking in with Eating Dirt, because that’s what I do: I share things, both good and bad.
If you know me and have followed this blog for awhile, I think it’s obvious that I’m an open book. I love writing and I love telling stories. Since the beginning, I’ve received emails from readers thanking me for being candid and truthful; thanking me for being real.
Readers have told me they love reading about things that are so resonating and relatable.
Readers have told me that I’ve made them laugh and cry.
This may only be cyber-space, but the connection and community to actual people is very real.
Much love to you, dear readers: fellow travellers on the road of life, love, sorrow, passion, and heartbreak.
And let’s not forget laughter.
Never forget laughter.